Friday, December 6, 2013

OK, OK, OK.... it's cold.

"You moved here from Vancouver?!? Why did you do that?!?"
"So, how do you like the weather? Hmmmmm?"

Yes, indeed. Even weirder than having four kids, we moved back to Saskatchewan. My stock answer is, "I don't miss the rain." But nobody believes me.

My good friends on the West Coast, you have to understand that here in Saskatchewan we have a heritage of inferiority-complex, always thinking we had the misfortune to be placed in the last place anyone would want to live. Even people who love it here (like us) acknowledge that we are statistically improbable.

My good friends on the prairie, you have to understand that everyone else agrees with you: we do live in the last place anyone would want to live.

And today, I believe I have a good idea why.

Did you know that will actually use the descriptor "bitterly cold"?

Really? This is the best scientific description? If you stick your tongue out, will you perceive a bitter taste to the weather? No one really knows, of course, because anyone who sticks their tongue out has it frozen solid and can't tell us.

[When I was my son's age, I did in fact get my tongue frozen to metal on a day like this. I didn't want to touch the door handle with my hand, because it was wet. And it would freeze to the metal. So I used my mouth. Luckily, I panicked and ripped the flesh off my tongue before it could freeze too deeply.]

SO, with nods of appreciation to tax-funded Environment Canada, here is the current situation:


City of Saskatoon
4:30 AM CST Friday 06 December 2013
Wind chill warning for 
City of Saskatoon continued

Extreme wind chills in the minus forties.

This is a warning that extreme wind chill conditions are imminent or occurring in these regions. Monitor weather conditions..listen for updated statements.

A bitterly [!] cold airmass sits over Southern Saskatchewan this morning. Temperatures are within a couple of degrees either side of minus 30, and with northwest winds of 15 to 25 km/h is resulting in extreme wind chills in the minus forties.

Wind chills will moderate somewhat this afternoon, but are expected to once again reach warning levels in the minus forties overnight and into Saturday morning. With wind chills in the minus forties, frostbite can occur in as little as 5 to 10 minutes.

New survey!!!

In the comments section below, please suggest an alternative descriptor to just how cold minus forty wind chill is. Very cold? Too blah. Really, really cold? Too repetitive. Sweetly cold? Too misleading. What would be a better word?

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